Phasing out

I am afraid sometimes; I just feel that I am phasing out of others' lives.

I feel like I may be shut out of others' lives or end up being forgottten or forcefully pushed out

I do not like that feeling; it makes me feel helpless and really useless and not loved by anyone at all.
Dear says that is not true and that I think too much. I worry too much and I dwell too much on what others think and what I should do to please others that it ended up like I may get tired of trying to please everyone in my life and I myself may lose my own happiness in the process.

Sometimes when I look at photos of friends on outings or vacations, I felt left out. I felt like I was not on others' minds when it comes to invitations, although I feel that I was part to blame as I had always been one who preferred solitary and I loved my books too much.
Even my bestie used to tell me the same thing.

However, I can't feeling that all the same.

Don't get me wrong, I am not that unpopular or unknown girl from school where people don't give the time of the day.
I am in fact, someone who has a profile since young much as I would like to keep a low profile and I get invitations all the time.

Thing is, I am always the quiet and indoor type and I seldom go out or hang out randomly. You can say I am kinda selective with the company I hang out with sometimes, and that's bad and I've rid myself of that.

Still, maybe my habits and everything that says about myself deter people from approaching me.

I just have this nagging fear; that I may be phasing out of others' lives; of others whom I really care about and it is during times like this that I am reminded of people who still care about me and love me.

My family; the closest ever to me and that includes my close relatives as well (close uncles and aunts and cousins from both sides of the family)

My besties and best gal friends who never ever forgot about me and just accepted me the way I was, reprimanding me once in a while to chill out.

My best guy buds who would not hesitate to just give me that piece of mind when they feel I am holding my reins too tightly and not letting my hair down once in a while; just give the shoulder a tight squeeze once in a while

My bestest guy bud; my own brother who would be direct and brutal when it comes to giving out opinions on letting myself go

Another bestest guy bud; my dear who would never have a bad word or reprimand for me and just support me all the way and lending me that shoulder to cry on

My virtual friends who have been giving me advices and encouraging words to go on here in my blog and my social network

I really hope I am not phasing out, I do not want to be forgotten or not loved....it would really hurt/Crush me very badly if that did happen...