Of Doctors and clinics

Now, why is it always so hard for me to go see a doctor when I am sick?
Seriously, this is not me we are talking about

Me? The girl who loves doctors and are often obedient to doctor's advice and though she hates the bitter taste of those yucky pink liquids they made her drink when she had a fever when she was five, she still listens to all the prescription and religiously consume her medicine
The girl who listens so much to doctors and even admires them that she even aspires to be a doctor one day
She even wanted to be a specialist to help the needy people who are sick

And now, I am afraid of going to see a doctor in Penang?
I avoid them like plague, gosh, this is so not me
But well, if you were to follow the string back to the thread roll, then yeah, it all happened three years ago when I landed my first job here.
If you've been following my blog for a few years now, you'd have known that all my experiences with Penang doctors have been horrifying and a total nightmare.

Want to call that luck?
Maybe, maybe I am just so unfortunate to have stumbled upon all the ugly faces of the doctors here on this island?
I never have this problem in my hometown in the capital!

Perhaps the traumatizing experience with all the doctors here has scarred me and has prevented me from going to any of them
There is obviously no faith at all in any of them
Arrrrggghhhhh
Call me stubborn; but let's see how you react when you've been, let's see:
1. scolded by a doctor
2. reprimanded by a doctor
3. scarred by a doctor
4. mis-treated by a doctor
5. wrong prescription
6. didn't recover and gotten worse, gone back and got scolded because you have yet to finish the medicine (there's only 1 more tablet left!)
7. got asked by a 24-hr clinic why you were there so early to see the doctor
8. being overcharged for a simple consultation

Now there's many more and I am not about to waste my time writing them all down here, but the bottom line is; I start to have this phobia of doctors or even going near clinics
I may need an MC to submit to my office when I am sick and that's when I grudgingly drag my feet to the clinic which I just conveniently dump their medicine aside and depend on my willpower to recover

Yeah, it's that bad...and I try to avoid them
So it's always that hard for me when I fall sick
As if I have nothing else to worry about
I feel so tired and really need to rest and I need some professional medical advice but I just refuse to trust from any of them here

There is one doctor whom I like very much here; and I often go to his clinic
But now, his clinic is not even on my list of panel doctors
And my great company recently decided to put such a strong foot on "how you must go to panel clinics or no claim" statement that I can no longer go there unless I intend to pay on my own
So, this practically is not such a good thing and I know I can choose, but in this economic situation, beggars can't be choosers

So I have to go through the list of all the panel clinics and identifying a few already on my blacklist (now why is it that my fave clinic does not make it to the panel clinic list but my blacklisted clinics are all on the list??? Unlucky me!)

I know I need to go to a clinic soon; I need medical help
But perhaps I can wait and depend on my willpower again?
And people, stop yakking at my ears to tell me to go to a doctor
I know I know, so stop it...

It is always going to be hard for me....
I can't choose which clinic...hard!