Emotional and into the mood

Holy Thursday, Good Friday, and the much anticipated Holy Easter Vigil after the solemn observation of the dying on the cross for the sake of the great power of love all brought a very meaningful sequence to me, especially this year.

I wonder why, when I have been born a Catholic my whole entire life.
Perhaps it is the deeper understanding and into-the-feeling?

I guess so, when you are just celebrating it as a routine, it is just special for the celebration purpose.
But when I am participating, that's where things took a change.

Father is right; most of us are mere spectators when it comes to celebration at mass.
That's why we could feel the length of the mass or the amount of time we need to take to get to mass.

When we participate in the events, when we are part of the events, we FEEL and understand the whole picture.
We understand what it takes to do something, to complete an event.

When we watch, we appreciate
When we DO/JOIN in, we are a part of it and the emotions are stronger
We no longer appreciate, we can FEEL what it's like

And that's how I felt...
emotional
The sequence of how my Lord died, and WHY he did it...
It was touching
And it touched me to the very core of my heart

It was a big realization
and that is why Christians rejoice
there is no greater love than this

I truly am painful when the Lord is in pain
And I wiped back my tears when I know why he would do it
Given another chance for him to turn back the clock for another chance,
I am very sure HE would still do it
Because he loved us too much
And the pain he went through is for us
There is indeed no greater love

He was betrayed by the one he loved and who loved him
And yet he never blame anyone
Even when people put him to death for no reason
He still asked for forgiveness for the excuse that they do not know anything
I could feel that pain of betrayal and also false accusation

He did not falter
He stood up and told everyone that he is ready
Even though the pain was unbearable, he DID it
Because he knows his father wants him to
He was weary, he did not give up

But before his last breath, he was also exhausted that he asked the Father for support
He showed that like us, HE also needs love

And for that, I am very touched
Thank you Jesus
Thank you Father for the cross and your one and only son

I am looking forward to rejoicing in the Lord's resurrection
It is still a moment of solemn reflection as we await in hope