Weird Dream

I was really tired last week; to the exhausted point....and I was feeling rather unwell this whole week; particularly towards the end of the week.
I was kinda relieved to get off work early on Friday and slept really early.

Alright, last night (Saturday night), I settled down early and slept all the way through until early 4.30am this morning.
Then, I woke up again at about 5.53am; and that was when I had a really weird dream.

Take note that I do know a bit about interpreting dreams (as in my other posts); but initially even I was baffled about this dream.
However, I finally figured it out later.....to reveal at the end of this post

I fell asleep this time; and I was lying on my bed; looking straight at my door (I was in my room); same scene as I was in.
However, the difference is; I felt paralysed on the bed; I couldn't move nor couldn't speak/squeak a word.
I tried to shout...but nothing came out.
I wanted to make my way to the door; and I couldn't.
I seemed to be held on the bed...immobilised.

Then I felt the bed shook; seriously....I was closing my eyes and singing my church hymn; praying to God.
Then I kept looking at the door; and wanted to get out but couldn't.
Then i woke up...yes, back to reality.

I forced my eyes open and I saw my room door again; this time there's a glimpse of light outside. That's in reality.

Somehow, I sunk back into sleep again and again, I see the same scene again my dark room...and I was on bed; immobilised again and trying so hard to shout and move towards the door.
But I couldn't...it was a great struggle....then I found that I somehow feebly managed to walk to the door; and I grabbed the door knob with my remaining strength...cannot turn the knob

Then I woke up again; and then again slip back into the dream again; and this time, I managed to turn the door knob but it was so DARK outside!
Impossible...coz the hall outside my room is lit with lights at night; fluorescent light.

Suddenly, I forced myself to wake up; I forced open my eyes and I woke up.
I found that I am once again back in my room...again....same scene, practically there's no difference between in reality and in dream.
But this time, I forced myself to get up from my bed and opened the door...

This time, I was definitely in reality; as I saw light!
Thank God!!

It was really a rather terrifying dream for myself; however, I was not that scared though.
Maybe because I felt rather consoled in God's presence.
Perhaps I have always believed in God...and I know HE will never forsake me:)

Anyway, there are perhaps different explanations for this dream...
From religious or spiritual side, I start to feel guilty probably for missing church masses and probably, it's showing me that I should not do so.

From psychological point of view, this is a line between conscious and subconsious.
I believe that I want to settle down; and there is a future lying in front of me that I want to believe.
Past the denial stage, I believe that things are opening up for me to see. I am still wondering at the degree of the reliability of my own decision to take this new path.
Part of me believes that good things lie ahead; but another part of me still believes that there's doubt in front.
That's why I keep waking up and slipping back into sleep; cannot differentiate between real and dream....

That right now I don't know whether what I wish for or aspire may not be right or will it turn out to be reality...

Whatever it is, I pray to God to show me the right way and to take things slow...
I do need more rest...and relax more...
And of course, HOLY WATER....to sprinkle over room....AMEN:)

I'm Lovin it!

My colleague Johnson asked me a question last week, "How do you find things after 2 months here?"

I was so busy at that time that I was gathering a few files and hastily replied, "Let me find a time to use a suitable adjective to describe how I find things now...hehe, coz I am getting tired of using the word 'interesting' again"

That brought a chuckle and he agreed.

But frankly, I used to think that change will not be easy and I was formerly in a slight denial stage; okay, maybe not slight...a major denial process.
Now, as I start to pick up the momentum and getting into the right books, I am actually enjoying the stuffs I do around here!!
Yeah, it's not easy but it's not hard either; and also, it can get really busy at times and there are several different projects to work on at the same time.
Sounds hectic right?

But I do love being busy!
I sound crazy or sadistic?
Nope....just that I always liked it that I know what I am doing and I get to do things.Being busy makes me feel a part of everything and that makes me feel important!
Egoistic a little?
Well....I just love to feel important and useful...
Where's there a will, there's always a way....
Where there's a way...there's always an opportunity!
To me, where there's something to do, there's always opportunities and when there's opportunities, there's definite chances of success!~

*BIG GRIN*

Job - Love or Hate

I came across this blog; by this girl a year my junior (we came from the same uni anyway).
I have been reading her blog regularly and her posts about work kinda brings me some memories as well.
She has been pretty frustrated with work; which I am assuming that she is experiencing burnout.

It's really tough when you are earning an income; and going to the same place and doing something to earn yourself that $$$ to your dream career, home and car.

That's why it is really important to be happy with what you are doing; after all, life is short and we should really feel happy in everything we do.

I had gone through a period like that and I turned from an optimistic and cheerful girl to a moody and pessimistic person.
Turning back to reflect and look at myself in the mirror, I told myself that things must change and I smiled at myself every morning to work; smiling at everything that comes my way at work.

It was still tough...but I still made it through....
But the most important is your own decision; whether you really like what you are doing.
Most people are resistant to change or too timid to make a move that may affect their life.

It is a risk to take; I admit, but it is a choice.
Things can get tough of course, and most of the time, after a change, you will go through resistance and denial mode.
I have gone through all these....it's not easy...but it's not that tough either...and I am glad to say that looking back at all the things, I am still proud and though with a heavy heart, I still stand tall at my past achievements and journey with pride and now, I look forward to a great and beautiful future:)

I pray to God for HIS guidance and I will pave my way along with HIS help:)

My dream car...(S)

I have my good ol' car right now..nothing to complain about, in fact I love the solid look and comfort of my car which I own for about 3 years now.

However,I have to say that there are a few cars that I have particular preference...

Toyota Vios


Funny why I am looking at the old model Vios rather than the latest release?

That's coz I find this older model nicer than the newer one although the latter still look charming:)


Another one....this was my dream car since when I was little kid...hehe

Striking red and stylish...:D


And this is another COOL car!:D

Really stylish...wow:)


Cool....and did I mention I was a Toyota fan?:D

Success and triumph

If you had read my main blog, you will know the story of my Friday (yesterday).

However, my main focus was actually more on the end of the day...
I was really elated and satisfied; seriously, it was a great feeling of satisfaction when you know that your efforts didn't go to waste.
Especially when you have overcame all those "noises" and grunts of others but you did the right things right.

It was the first time I felt so accomplished and despite the ups and downs in this job, it was really interesting and produce astonishing results that really made me feel good!

I can see that this is definitely a chance worth exploring and I believe that my best is still yet to be displayed *winks*
All the BEST and only the BEST to myself (wishing myself:p)

Unorganized and miscommunication

I am not a very organized person; although I like seeing things in perfect order and such.
However, I have gone through organizations where they keep things at a very systematic level and well-organized.
Yeah, nobody is perfect, but yet, organization to a certain extent for me is truly important.(I am actually a very particular person).

Therefore, I find unorganized things agitating and can be really confusing.
For instance, I am trying my hand at a new system; and with the shallow and surface training they provided me, I started using the system.

Then this lady start coming up to my desk today telling me that I do not have the achieved quota based on the data keyed into the system.
Weird...and I tried to explain to her....that my boss mentioned that my related data should only be retrieved from this month onwards...meaning, next month to extract this month's summary.

She said no..my boss told her from this month onwards.
I don't know how to explain to her since she seemed disbelieving and I gathered she has already formed her own perception that I am too dumb to use her system.

Well....IT SAP system...hahaha, not to be mean, but I don't carry what degree I major in my daily interaction with everyone...

Whatever, I still prefer to brush off others' perception of me...with a SMILE:)

3rd Visit and removal of dressing

Yesterday I had a slightly unpleasant experience; but nothing bad.
After work, I went for my 3rd (and hopefully the final) visit to the clinic to check on my small wound which has felt itchy for the past 2 days.

As the nurse removed the bandage, the wound seemed to have shrunk and the surface has dried; with a new layer of cell on it.
It looks good; according to the doctor and the nurse cleansed the wound again and applied some of those yellow solution to it.

There will be no more bandage anymore to allow faster recovery of the wound!

I am not posting my pics anymore....haha, it is seriously not that nice to look at:p

I won't be wearing skirts at the moment until the wound has fully recovered without any scar or mark:)
*Keeping my fingers crossed and praying to God*

2nd Dressing

Yesterday I went for my follow-up at my family doctor; to undress the wound and check the condition of my little wound.

The wound is slowly healing; and it was really scary when the nurse was peeling off the plaster to reveal the wound.

Thank God there were no pus, etc...and then they cleaned it again; and applied the yellow ointment with an addition of antibiotic on the wound.
Then, they dressed it again....sighs...and I need to go back again after 3 days on Monday:(

The new dressing:)

Bleeding!

OUCH OUCH OUCH!!!

Today I fell down the staircase as I was walking towards the carpark area after work.
It was a short slip but yet, even I was surprised by the red spot that appeared on my knee cap after the fall.
I had to endure the pouring rainfall to make my way towards the carpark in the neighbouring building!

OUCH!!!
I am not concerned about the pain; but rather the ugly fact that it's gonna be ugly with a wound there:(
Call me vain but a bloody wound is definitely so unattractive when it comes to wearing skirts.
Yet, when I wear pants, it's gonna rub against the fabric...SIGHS!

I held my little handkerchief against the wound while I drive home and Daddy and Mummy were so concerned about the wound.
It was a small wound actually; but I felt so pampered....really spoilt Daddy's princess huh?

After my bath, Daddy insisted that I go to our family doctor for cleaning and dressing of the wound; basically to apply some antiseptic on the wound to avoid inflammation.

The nurse even praised me for being a brave girl who didn't even scream or wince at the sight of the blood or wound.
She cleansed it properly and was amazed at how quiet and friendly I was towards her.

After cleansing the wound and ensuring there's no foreign materials (such as grain of sand, stone, etc), she turned to apply iodine next.
WOW!!
That was super painful!!!!
Should I say, really PAINFUL!!

I had to grit my teeth through it and didn't even scream.
Then she applied the cream...for quicker recovery of the skin growth around the wounded area.
It costed RM13 for the entire treatment but for the insurance of it, the doctor even told me to go back in 2 days' time for further check up and to ensure the recovery of the wound.

I know Daddy and Mummy was really heartbroken to see my wounded; and blamed it on my white heels....aiks!!
I do so love my white heels....even my beloved darling was so heartbroken and in despair to hear about my wound...

Thanks for all your concern...
I didn't want to gross you all out with the wound; despite it being a small wound...
It's now cleaned up and properly dressed


Patiently waiting for 2 more days....please recover without any further effects


I don't want scars...nor ugly marks...
I may be brave in enduring the wound cleaning and dressing, but vanity is still a girl's pride:p
*Yeah....call me a spoilt princess!