Self-mantra

I wonder how many times can one say "I love my job/life" to believe that they truly, duly do NOT hate their job/life?

I think in most motivational talks, they always tell you to go up to a hundred, right?

Well, I can tell you, if I were to say "I Love my Job" for a hundred times, I still won't believe it.

On the other hand, it goes without saying that even if I don't recite "I hate my job", it will not make me believe it.

Ohhh, that doesn't mean my job makes me sick or I really do HATE my job, but there are just those days when you feel that you are just sick of everything and you just subconsciously say "Oh, I am starting to hate my job!"
You know what I mean...

Otherwise, who would want to hate something which gives them money to feed themselves and dress them from top to toe?

So, here goes, please say it with me..."I Love my job"....

Sad...and not helping with motivation

This is not another drag or negative post; but I just want to express how I felt about another news I have just heard yesterday.

One of my new colleagues in my team; she just joined 3 months ago, is leaving us.
She has tendered her resignation and will be leaving on Friday.

I just received another email from her, stating that she is actually leaving today, using up her one day of annual leave for tomorrow.

I do feel shocked when I first read her email yesterday (the girl was so nice to write me an email to inform me of her decision) and it then turned to sadness as I am losing yet another nice colleague.
It's rare to find people who clicks with you and is capable to do their job well (I am sure she can do her job really well)

At the same time, I guess she has made a good decision and to move on with her next path; just a different path to her own life success and I am happy for her though I wonder whether I am still motivated to stay on this path.

I am not succumbing to peer pressure, in case some of you think I am, but of late, I am slowly losing my own motivation as well, and I am not revealing the reasons here in the blog as this is rather personal but suffice to say that I am also plagued with different issues at the same time besides my own career which throws me into a huge pit of dilemma.

I feel suffocated at times, and whenever I hear of people leaving, I couldn't help long after that envious feeling of untasted liberation.

Perhaps that is a sign that I am also about to head to liberty soon?

I don't know, and I don't want to feel so negative.

I am happy but I just couldn't help feeling sad with news like these as I know I am going to miss great people like these around me.

Meeting and departing is always part and parcel of life, and I accept and respect that.

I am wondering about my own path sometimes, and the roads not taken, can they be taken at any point of time again?
I know they can, it is always a choice.

Sometimes, although I have said this time and time again, I truly wished I had the power to turn back time...

P.S: I've received the farewell email from this lovely girl, and it was like an exclusive email which was only directed to 5 of us in the whole company.
LOL, I feel like an honored VIP guest right now...and I shall let this feeling stay for 5 seconds, 4...3...2..1, okay, snap back to reality.

I truly pray for this kind soul as she disembarks from this path and embark on a new path to success =)

A silver lining?

Dear Diary,
I received some bad news last night; after dinner when I reached home. It was piece of news delivered at the wrong time and I wished that it could have come later.
It was not that it was disaster-prone kind of devastating, but still distressing to an extent.

I am tired of being a nomad, and having to search high and low (electronically and physcially, that is) for another location.
I don't want to go into the details, period.
Enough said that I have just had enough of everything these days; work, people, etc.

Perhaps there was a little silver lining as the same topic initiated an actual conversation with my quiet housemate whom I have just merely exchanged a nod or smile so far or the most, good morning. Well, we exchanged our opinions and even shared a good laugh with each other!

I guess, whenever there is anything gray in the skies, there will always be a silver lining?

Well, it's back to the basic and I am back to square one....but I am loving the rain today, yeah, it rained again!
Another silver lining in store for me?

X.O.X.O

A beautiful and marvellous Monday

Dear Diary,
I found myself having a hard time to wake up in the morning on Monday, and I think it is probably that the word Monday has seeped into my brain and influenced it to suppress the thought that Monday means anything near marvellous.
Much as I would love to snuggle under the blanket, I woke up anyway, and guess what, I was surprised by the gloomy and cool weather as I saw dark and heavy clouds looming in the skies above.
I was thinking to myself, "Maybe this is just another false alarm for rainy day again". I mean, who are we kidding, we have been deceived again and again by the rainy days which were supposed to take place after March/April and to this day, we are still suffering under the scorching heat of the sun.
Anyway, I was really in for a surprise, diary, as it started to rain half an hour before I was ready to step out to work (just the mere mention of it makes me queasy).
I LOVED the weather, you know how much I love rain, and much as I hate getting myself or my outfit, bag and even shoes to be pelted with the raindrops and then soaked through, I still welcome the rain with open arms!
Not long though, as I had to endure bad traffic. You know, diary, it was also coincidentally the first day of school after a 2-weeks school holidays (speaking of which, I am starting to dread this period), and traffic was just, hideous!
It continued to rain for the whole day, and I was even drenched!

It made my Monday perfect though; despite me feeling rather in glooms going to work...but it is now, marvellous, and magical...all thanks to the dear ol' friend, named rain =)

Gastro vs gastritis

I had the most unpleasant last week.

It was a struggle, or rather, a battle between my gastrointestinal vs my gastroentitis problem.
I don't know which ignited the battle, but it started off really painful and uncomfortable.

With the sharp pain in the abdomen and stomach and later, even the chest area, I even suffered from diarrhoea and nausea (thank God there was no vomiting although that almost happened at one point)

I was really pale on that day I went to work after suffering from that bout which I dismissed off as just plain gastric and popped my usual pink tablets to soothe the stomach.
However, I sensed something amiss when the pain seemed to make me really uncomfortable and I kept feeling nauseous.

I made a trip to the doctor the next day, and was diagnosed with food poisoning (that was already the third day).
The doctor even told me that besides the gastrointestinal issues related to the food poisoning, it could have even started off the gastritis problems and hence, I was put on medication for both.

I had to stay off solids and fibre food to avoid purging; and was told to have home-cooked food.

My diet list?
Porridge, broth, beverages...ughs, I don't like either of them =(

Call me picky, but I really hate porridge and don't even want to abide by them even when I am seriously ill. (annoying me, I know)

I finished the medication, and was even on two days MC as I was seriously in pain.

By the 3rd day, I still feel something amiss and I was already starting to worry, as the medicine did not work and I was still feeling uncomfortable.
It is really weird, as usually when I am put on my usual combination of gastric medication, I recover or at least feel better after 2-3 rounds of it.

I am almost done with the medication and I still feel awful and I decided, I had to go to the doctor again, for the second time, although it was a Saturday already (yeah, I seldom do that)

The doctor was baffled as well, and I was already asking whether I need a reason to worry or should I be undergoing further scans or blood tests.

Thank God she told me that there is nothing to worry about and even asked, whether I was undergoing any stress at work or personal life lately.

She told me to just relax during the weekend and try to have as much home-cooked food as possible.
She even told me that I should learn how to cook myself or else, marry/find someone who can cook well...like her own son! LOL!
Was my doctor matchmaking me or what?

Anyway, she changed my whole set of medication and put me on the medication which can reduce both problems.

Thank God, I started feeling better the next day although the occasional pain is still there and I still feel uncomfortable after meals.

I am recovering and getting better, and then, the haze came.
Now, I am starting to worry about my sinusitis and sensitive skin...now you tell me, how can I not be stressed about my life or work?