Doomed....

That's it, I am probably doomed...guess you must have noticed the current trend of my posts whereby everything is all so negative and sound so demotivated - yeah, I am a little tired of the constant negative vibes emitted by that group of morons who are so insecure of themselves that they need to make others feel depressed as well. They are wary of their own situation and also afraid of what others may take away from them - sick people.....SIGHHH

So, the current situation has not improved and I believe that they are doing more on personal attacks - hmmmm, why am I seeing that they have influenced most of the ladies as well and some are getting more and more arrogant in their own ways while talking to me?

I have just conducted the first day of my training and I am de-motivated - I am dumb, stupid and totally useless, I am not good; I should probably be hung ....gosh, I feel like I am so totally worthless in everything I do....I know I shouldn't be looking down on myself but I could feel their glory and triumphant smiles on those people as they walk away gloating that they managed to pin me down with their "intelligent" questions.

I am unhappy in the sense that they have triumphed over me and that I look like such a dumb nitwit in front of them. Yeah, well, one for you guys then and I hope you drown in your evil triumphant grins and happiness.

** Being a meanie princess now and I don't feel good at all.... :(**

Faces....

Now I start to see the different faces of people; how people changed and the total conversion from their attitude.

I am not kidding; people change as easily as the wind, and now, I do think they dislike me of certain reasons which are unknown to me although I have a clear idea of what is going on since it was started off by a lady whom I would say is tad a bit vicious and insecure in her current position and wants to create havoc by forming her own clique whom she can conform to and paralyze the root of the tree. Yeah, never mind if you don't understand it; it's supposed to be encoded anyway since I am speaking on high level terms.

The thing is this is causing a rift among the members on the boat; with the number of people sitting on certain sides of the boat and with the new joining members. Of course, the captain of the boat will always be there and the opposition is always thinking of tricks up their sleeves to foil the captain. So, this lady pirate has slowly clinched some of the other boat members; one consisting of a lady whom I trusted and everyone perceive as an innocent and nice lady (I have my doubts...and I am not saying out of spite) and the other is supposed to be a person who was to be my guide in the boat.

So, I am in a difficult situation and I believe they know that. They are starting to make their plan work by only talking among themselves and showing everyone that they are within their own world - such nasty people I should say. HAVE you people ever considered other people's feelings? Yeah, be grand and mighty all you like, continue to ignore others and envy successes but at the end of the day, the captain will still be the one to determine your indication of success.

What have I done wrong? They think I am not doing anything while they are hogging all the development work,etc and me, I am shaking my legs all day long on the boat? Yeahhhh, why don't we switch and you tell me whether you can do my stuffs. I know, since day one, my mentor warned me of this situation which will eventually occur as people grow jealous of the popularity and influence we start to have; and in my position, I am highly visible and known to most of the top level management and I managed to impress most of them - although people on my boat seem to think otherwise.

You know, I thought I was being sensitive that these people are launching some sort of underground attacks but turns out, these people are super mean and visible to show you that they are ignoring people whom they disregard as their clique. I hate and seriously despise people with that insight who enjoys making others' lives miserable. Have you morons ever thought of how it feels when you are treated the same way in return?

Yeah...look at me...I am using "morons" to address people and this used to be such a taboo for a name to be spoken. I am also tired and exhausted with the inconsiderate behaviour displayed by these people and I am sure they are enjoying it, feeling that they have the command of authority over people's feelings.

I am disappointed and tired
I am no longer going to try to make them happy
I will not be affected by them
I will not succumb to their desire to make me feel down
I will not let them succeed

Guess it's time to react; I am not a little kitten to be trampled on and if you think you are great, prove it to me so that I will respect you. But, from my point of view and based on the current situation, all I can say is I have totally lost every bit of respect for any of you morons and I believe that whatever you do to others today will come back to you - yeah, what goes around comes around -- so I hope you enjoy making others' lives miserable......

Disappointment...

" I am hopeless....I am useless....I am just so stupid, dumb...."

Yes, this is a fact...don't call me a princess anymore...I am just a stupid gal :(

I am so miserable today...hmmmm...does that have anything to do with me wearing a black skirt with a black sweater top and also a black skirt? Everything just turned so black and unlucky for me...perhaps that's what they mean by not wearing black colour for auspicious or superstitious reasons.

Reason I am disappointed is because I have failed myself; my own expectations; I can't even answer basic questions to what I am supposed to know - yeah, I am the so-called tool content expert now and I am just merely surviving on the name. I am totally stupid; I don't know what is wrong with me...I just can't accept that I am such a dumb person (although it's probably true)...

I will work hard and not fail you....and myself, so buck up Christy, there's still lots of things ahead and you don't want people to look down on you....

Happy Birthday to Baby Car!!!

Yesterday was my baby car's first birthday.....1-year old...actually that's considered grown up for a car....we can't compare it with human life span since a car is viewed as old by 5-years.

Hehehe...so should I say that a year in the car's livelihood is equivalent to 10 light years?:P

Anyway, it's officially that I've been working for a year as well today and a year since I've been driving my little car....my baby Atos....she's just my precious baby :)

So, here goes...HAPPY BIRTHDAY dear baby!!!!

I know, I sound totally insane.....daddy said I was siao when I told him that it was my car's birthday when he called last night...hehehe.....

Hey, it's always good to have a reason for celebration....at least someone doesn't ignore me *winks*

Thanks, for your wishes although it seems like it's more meant for me since you're asking my car to take good care of me...hahaha.....

That's Sally....the lady car from Disney's Pixar Cars.....a lady car.... :D
Girl power rocks....