Do I miss school that much?

I had another dream again last night; I think I have been talking about my dreams most of the time here.

This time, it's not that long but I see a classroom scene.
It's like back in primary school; those old wooden and creaky desks we sit at in the classrooms.

It was arranged in a semi circle; and I was facing some of the guys (my friends).
They were seated with their backs towards the door; and I was blinded by the brightness of the sun outside as I was staring at them.
On the left I could see the old-fashioned green blackboard...call it greenboard (you remember those that we use chalks?)

Funny thing is; I kept seeing this guy (he was one of my admirers) and he kept appearing.
He was very quiet though; and it was like back in school when our friends used to tease us together.
It was very awkward and then he was hesitating whether to talk to me or go to meet me or not.

It was like a swinging situation where he was having his thoughts; and then when he wanted to come to talk to me, something or someone held him back.
He was reminded about his girlfriend and he suddenly looked confused, saying, "I don't have a girlfriend yet!"

He was confused and looked at me; and I was rooted to the ground...

Then when we sat at the semi-circle, he was the guy facing me with the sun blinding my sight again
It was all quiet then it faded...

I am just surprised at how often my dreams have the picture of my old school classrooms in them.
Do I really miss school that much?

Was that a subconscience speaking to me?

I don't know, and I think I still need to sort out all the interpretations for all my dreams...I hope I don't go crazy before that...

Yet another weird dream???

I should have blogged about it immediately when I woke up on Friday morning.

Yeah, I have had yet another weird dream the night before and it was again another bizarre dream in which I was part of it.

I think it involved my high school this time; I could see an access card.
That access card was actually the card which I use for my current condo in Penang to enter the main entrance gate.
I recalled it so clearly from the dream because it was very obvious and evident due to the card size, thickness and the words imprinted on it.

In the dream, it started with me passing the card to my dad; I think…for some reason or another. When I hand him the card, I remembered that I kept emphasizing on how important this card is and the extra precaution he needs to take to take care of it.
I couldn’t remember whether my brother was also in the dream.

I was seen as kept insisting on the importance of the card and how I need it to enter my school gates every morning (I do not know why the school gate?)

My dad nodded and did not say much.

Next I was seen to go to school early every morning; and I think I was back in those old prefect’ blue blouse and navy blue skirt I used to wear and I was walking towards the gate.

Suddenly my dad appeared and showed me the card.

It is now in a deformed shape!

Again, I remembered it clearly because it was so clear and sharp in the dream!

The card actually melted and crumpled from the side corners towards the middle. It’s like it has been burnt or underwent some high temperature oven with a tractor over it.

I remembered I was panicky (again) and was extremely upset over it; and I was crying and arguing with my dad and brother.

I kept saying, “I told you so many times to take good care of it, now it’s ruined!! How could you ruin it??? How am I supposed to go to school from now on??”

My dad was quiet and it was quite blur

Then I cried again and I remembered one of the last sentence I uttered before I woke up, “ If I knew, I would never have given you the card!! Now I even need to pay the fine and be penalized!!”

I was so upset; imagine when you are really furious or disappointed when your favorite possession is ruined by someone else.

I just felt so upset and distressed that I kept crying and arguing and then I stared at the school gates…it seemed so blurred and distant and then, I woke up.

Extremely bizarre, don’t you think?

I will try to decipher my dream too….

(I am wondering the melted/burnt card had anything to do with a honey bottle I accidentally melted on Thursday morning…LOL? Maybe hor?)

Dream of my wedding and my grandma?

I've had another weird dream last night; but it's not a spooky one which is why I have decided to post it here.

It was a long dream; as I remember and I was actually getting married!

I was dressed in a simple white tube dress with a long train; but it was easy for me to walk around.
I remember walking around a lot in the dream!

I was scheduled to have my wedding in this church; but the weird thing is, the church was actually a little chapel which is a shoplot.

The other shops next to it were empty; and I remembered that all the paint were very white.

Then I see a few guys around who were very cheerful and happy; and they were actually my friends who were supposed to help out with the wedding.
Too bad, I couldn't recall their faces...or come to think it, I don't remember anyone particularly familiar, but one thing's for sure, they are all guys.
In fact, I think they are the guys who are supposed to be the groom's brotherhood entourage although they were all helping me.

The groom?
I have no idea...I did not even see him around.

I only remembered that I was not feeling particularly like myself; and that everything seems to be in a hurry
I was not really prepared; and I was dressed really simple!
Nothing like a wedding that I could ever imagine!

I had light make-up on; and my cousin sisters were all standing inside the church
Weird; I did not even have my 'sisterhood' entourage with me!

I was feeling really lost; and I think I felt like I was not really ready for the wedding
I was feeling anxious and wondering why I am getting married so soon (or in such a hurry!)
You see, I didn't even know why I was there

I saw most of my family members looking at me; and waving at me from the church and I was standing outside the church
I felt forlorn and lonely

Then I realized I forgot my shoes....
As I panicked, I saw my brother who told everyone to calm down and asked my dad to go back to the car to get my shoes
Everyone tried to calm me down and told me to wait for the shoes in the church

Unknown to the others, I was trailing behind my brother and my dad; and I saw myself descending a flight of stairs which was carpeted in red and then led to a dark basement carpark

Suddenly, I see light again and I saw my mom at the top of the staircase
She told me to come up and I made my way up again; heaving up my (apparently) light gown and walking barefooted.

As I stood outside the church, feeling lost and miserable again
I thought of how empty the benches are and was thinking, why didn't I invite all my friends and colleagues
There seems to be only close family members and relatives
I felt so lonely; and a bit disappointed that it lacks the merry atmosphere

I wondered why didn't I want to inform other people; they will know eventually anyhow
I felt so afraid of walking down the aisle
I almost felt like I wanted to cancel and be a runaway bride!

Then I was thinking, it's okay, I shall organize another wedding dinner in KL once I am done with this ceremony
(I am guessing I am not even in my own hometown for this wedding?)
I don't even have a bridesmaid....believe it or not!

I panicked when I realized that I don't have a bridesmaid; and looked at my cousin sisters standing inside the church (they were nicely dressed)
I was wondering who to pick as my bridesmaid....but they seemed so far away

Then the piano starts to play inside the church and I know I had to start making my way into the church
I don't even have my veil yet!
I was looking around; and I saw most of the guys were looking at me; sort of eyeing me from top to toe (checking me out with a grin on their face and giving me the thumbs up)

If that was not freaky enough, suddenly I saw my very sick grandma
Yup; the grandma who is currently very very sick (she is my only grandma left anyway)
She was dressed up and had a bit of red lipstick and she looked much younger

She held my shoulder and told me to be calm
I could feel the touch of her hand on my bare shoulder (remember I was wearing a tube dress?)
She said to me these words, "Don't worry, everything will be fine. I am happy that you are finally getting married. I am very very happy now...."

In an instant, I recalled....my sick grandmother is now a great grandmother following my eldest cousin brother's wedding a few years ago; and he has borne two lovely daughters.

Furthermore, recently, my youngest uncle also had his newborn son; adding the heir that grandma so much wanted

My aunt has also said, grandma has already seen her great grandchildren, all her daughters' children (considered external grandchildren in the Chinese family context) and now she has even her own internal grandson (the heir to the family)
She has only yet to see her grandson-in-law...

Is that why I am having this weird dream?

I only know it is very weird, and I think I need some time to sort it out and decipher this dream...

I need to sort out the parts and interpret it in a right sequence....

Other things that I can remember from the dream

The tube dress I was wearing...I think it looked a bit like this

Taken from - http://flypaper.bluefly.com/images/wedding%20gown.gif



Taken from http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/31OT96ip20L.jpg


I remembered even my hair was left flowing on my shoulders...yeah, it's not even done!


(From good.designs)

I almost felt like I couldn't wake up from my sleep/dream
I felt like there was a strong force to push me into the aisle
It's like I shouldn't wake up from the dream and that I have to continue to stay in the dream...

Now, how bizarre is that????

Dream, dream dream - The Interpreted meaning?

Back to my earlier dream which happened after a tiring trip and a exhaustingly deep slumber, I was greeted with all the funny happenings in my dream (please refer to the previous posts).

Now to decipher the meaning of the whole dream (thanks to Stan for providing your insights as well), I have to break the entire dream into different segments; reason being, it was too long and too many elements involved and I believe this is due to the intertwining events and also the things running on my mind at the moment.

1. The first part of the dream where I walk into the room; and I see 2 guys and we were supposed to be working on an assignment. Initially I was friendly, and then I grow hostile.
One guy was an ex-admirer, the other, I could not remember/recall his face. His face was blurred.
Interpretation:
It is a swing in between the past and future of my love/relationship. I walked into the room; means I wanted to be confident and to face what is coming for me.
The ex-admirer represents the past; someone who used to care a lot for me, and perhaps he has a certain weightage and influence in my life and to a certain extent, Stan, you're probably right. He probably still has feelings for me, and that was probably a doubt I had. I am not sure how to deal with it, and yet at the same time, I was confused.
At the back of my mind, I am probably wondering the same thing myself, does he still have feelings for me or is it over?
I am stuck in my subconscious mind, and I am not sure whether to treat him as a friend (the friendly talk) or to totally give him the same treatment (hostility).
At the same time, I believe, it is also due to the holding on to the past that I can't see into the future.
I am not sure and I have doubts about the future (blurred face). I am not sure how to move on in my future relationship.
The first part of the dream is about my relationship.

2. Move on to a part where I seem to meeting a lot of old friends from my old school whom I have missed and we seemed to be gathering for something. Yet at the same time I was worried about my belongings while they were excited about the event.
Interpretation:
I am learning to trust people; to have faith in people and yet at the same time, I wonder how do people around me help or give me a hand when I am in need (the worry about belongings)

3. I was told to lock my stuffs in a designated locker area and I walked alone. I was greeted by lockers and a place which is so familiar (it is just Gurney drive scene). There were 2 Indian guys who ignored me while giving me the keys and my lockers were so small. It was old wood and even after I have locked my stuffs in, there's still doubt over whether I should keep it locked or carry my purse/cell phone with me. When I look up, numbers on lockers changed.
Interpretation:
I am an abiding person, and I do not want to trouble people (told and walk alone).
I am indecisive, how to make up my mind. Again, Stan is right, I value my belongings very very much and the strong image of my purse and my beloved phone was also a worry over what will happen to them. I can't seem to find the courage to trust that the locker can keep my things -> I can't find the space in which I should let trust in people.
The 2 Indian men who ignored and talking about others are strangers who will always be ignorant of my presence; since I do not trust anyway. When I decide to make a decision, the time has passed (numbers on lockers changed)
Also at the same time, it is a subconscious warning from my mind to be careful with my belongings (prominent image of purse and cell phone; right now, one of them is in trouble anyway:(

4. Significance of the numbers
2-7-9 and 7-2-9 on lockers
It could be a time indication; or it could be the amount of time I should wait for things to be fixed or for things to move on.
This, I am not too sure

5. The talk about the dead not being dead, and the commotion across the street of a man lying down and people gathering around. I was not really listening and yet could relate to the previous talk of the 2 Indian men about the dead could be roaming around preying on humans.
Interpretation:
Sometimes things may not be what they seems (dead not dead), and no matter what I do, there will always be people who will talk about it, be it right or wrong. (People gathering, commotion and Indian men conversing)
Most importantly, I should know what I am doing, I may not intend something, but sometimes things just happen (listening and relation to the conversation)
My inner self is also saying that I am still bothered by the past betrayal and that I worry too much about hurting others and people harming me. People who put on a front and yet stab me in the back (dead roaming and prey on humans)

6. Goosebumps raising and saw the dead man covered with white cloth. Cell phone rang and thinking of going home. Yet friend told me to stay where I was and as I looked at the clock showing 6 o' clock which was already late and the game wouldn't last long, I still somehow managed to say yes, I will stay.
Interpretation:
I tried to put on a brave front and ignore things; despite my fear. I do not like to offend people or be a spoilsport and yet at times, it is at the expense of my own fear and misery (not saying no).
I will do anything as long as I am being nice and not offensive as I do not want people to be hurt; no matter how late or how aware I was that I am going to be hurt (the clear image of past 6 o' clock, is past evening)

7. Friend told me that the opposing team is on the hunt and we would be shot with water pistols and we have to lie down to play dead once we are shot.
I was concerned with the opposing team we are playing against, and I know the team of my ex-admirer, team 4 and when friend mentioned Team 4, and my attention was diverted by the missing man on the street
I heard someone say "He's not dead, just now they were very sure he's dead?"
I stood there, thinking of the game, to go home, to take my belongings, my friends, team 4...woke up from dream
Interpretation:
I am anxious to meet people from the past; or to be precise enemies from the past still haunting me. I am afraid to be held against them and I'd rather play a deaf ear or pretend not knowing them than to be reminded of some sad incidents (hunting, shot, lie down to play dead).
I was also very concerned with close relationships and friends of the past, people who have both loved and cared about me and I know not what to do and yet, I know what I am supposed to do when we encounter (I know the ex-admirer in which team and the exact team came out). What I fear will not go away, it will come to reality (dead man missing and the precise guess of team 4 with the expected team 4 of my ex-admirer). I will still need to face my ex-admirer no matter how I avoid, and it is my choice to face him. At the same time, this may not be my biggest fear/worry as there will be other things happening at the same time which could create a bigger fear (diversion of attention to the dead man who is not dead).
I am worried about so many things; and everything seems to on my mind simultaneously that the sequence seem jumbled up

But I am still concerned about belongings (myself), game (my responsibilites), how I want to go home (family), how to tell my friends I want to go home (people around me), Team 4 (my past and present in relationship), 6 o' clock (how much time I have) and the dead man (what else could possibly happen?)

I am a worry-wart, and seriously, it was to as much as I can interpret, and though this was in my subconscious mind, I must say, in my conscious state, it is pretty accurate as well...

Gosh, I need to really give my mind a good rest...
But how could I when I still can't stop worrying, even at this point when things happen?

Dream....dream....dream

I was so tired last night; after my short journey back from home for Easter which I made it a point to celebrate with my family.
Yippeee....was really happy to see them and to rejoice:)

I was trying to hit the sack early and yet, I only got to sleep at 10.30pm, after the unpacking, etc (me being a perfectionist)

I think it was a deep sleep in the beginning until the wee hours in the morning where I was suddenly in a dream where I was myself and with 2 guys (one of whom was a guy who used to be an admirer) and we were seated at the table.
We seemed to be working on something (I don't know what) and initially I was talking to them.
Then I guess it was a few days and slowly I became unresponsive; towards the admirer guy.
I think there was a little of indignation sensed in me as he was a little hostile as well towards me, and so I retorted back by talking to everyone else and smiling at them except at him.
I just refused to smile at him.

Then he was anxious and tried to ask me, why was I reacting that way?
I still ignored him, and then it switched to another scene where I saw a lot of my old girl friends whom I was close to during school days.
They seemed to be gathering at a place to play hide-and-seek or some interesting hunt between 2 teams.
I was worried about my purse and cell phone and asked them whether they have kept their valuables somewhere.

They told me that most of them will be bringing it along with them, but if I need to, I can secure my stuffs in a locker area.
I went there, and it really looked so curiously like Gurney area.
While I was checking in my stuffs, there were 2 dark-skinned guys manning the counter and they were talking about how someone was not dead yet and it's creepy, there may even be some zombies around.
I was given my key and I looked up at all the small lockers; more like pigeon holes above me.
They were made of wood and were so old and musty that you could sneeze at the flying saw dust.
I looked at all the numbers; and I could even remember the number of my locker; 7-2-9....but that was the first number.
After I locked my stuffs in, I held the key and I was in doubt; maybe I still didn't feel safe with my stuffs in and I wanted to make sure it was locked.
I looked up at my locker again, and surprisingly, the numbers have all switched places compared to the first time when I saw them.
This time, my key only fit into the locker numbered 2-9-7
I was definitely in doubt and as I was busy trying the keys and locking and unlocking my stuffs, wondering whether I should take out my stuffs and keep it with me or lock them up (in case they get lost during the game), there was a commotion across the street.

As I looked towards that direction, I saw a place which looked just like Gurney Drive (seriously!)
There was a guy lying by the side of the road, he seemed motionless and a few people were standing there.
The two guys at the counter were no longer there, and I recalled their words, "...dead but may not be dead, and roam around, preying on humans..."

At those words, I felt goosebumps and my hair raising on its end.
They took a white cloth to cover that man across the street, I guess he was dead.

Suddenly my cell phone rang, and my girl friend called me, asking where I was.
The clock showed 2 minutes past 6 (analog clock) and deep down inside my heart, I wanted to flee the place to go home although I felt guilty towards my friends and what if they were mad at me?
So somehow I answered that I was ready and about to head to the assembly area although I had those fleeing thoughts in my mind.

My friend (she was brave and rather boyish) told me that they have started the game and that I should stay where I am right now (I told her I was near Gurney).
She said the opposing team is starting to hunt us, and if I stayed where I was, there was a high chance they won't find me.
I was confused and I asked her what are the rules of the game to which she explained rather hastily, and I only remembered, that if we were caught, we will be shot with the water machine gun and we need to lie down to play dead.
Somehow, the admirer came into my mind and I asked her, which team are we playing against.

The admirer was in Team 4 and somehow she answered exactly that team.
I wasn't paying attention anymore, as I saw the man beside the road is no longer covered in white cloth.
People seem to be slowly deserting the street and I heard someone said, "he doesn't seem to be dead anymore, although just now they were very sure he was dead"

I stood there, rooted to the ground and I wondered, should I stay for the game and for the sake of my belongings or should I just run away from everything?
So many things came into my mind; my purse, my cell phone, Team 4, my friend, and my fear....

Suddenly, I just woke up...

I tried to sleep again, for I wanted to know how it end...for it felt like I was watching a movie....

But I couldn't anymore....

I will share on the significance of this dream once I have it figured out....unless anyone can enlighten on this as well?

Dreams...

I have been having weird dreams lately; really weird....

First there is this piano, where I was sitting there playing note by note and all of a sudden, to my rightmost, those keys are not the normal piano keys
It appeared to have broken down and were connected using greyish white chopsticks
I didn't let that bother me and I just kept playing on those keys to get the tune I wanted, although, my eyes kept focusing on those broken keys
I can't get over how it looks despite it still giving me the tune I want

Interpretation:
I think there is something which I like and it is just something that makes me happy.
However, I am bothered by the faults or imperfection which exist in that something although I know it's not going to be a huge effect.
Physically and mentally though, I felt pressured to see through that imperfection.

On a separate occasion, another dream was this particular one where I was looking out of my kitchen window in my condo and I was staring at a cliff whereby there is a huge green mountain behind.
The cliff was like a clearing of some sort which appears to be greyish white (as you see in cement) and it's a striking contrast between that area against the lush greenery behind.
Then all of a sudden, there was a huge LION, yes, I meant a live breathing lion with that huge mane of hair jumping and standing at that ledge, staring at me.
It appeared to stare at me intently, and all of a sudden, it made a huge leap towards me!

I screamed and ran away from the kitchen window and hid behind the walls.
I was so Scared and yet I asked myself, "How is it possible that there is a living animal such as a lion in my residential area? Furthermore, it is a condominium in a quiet environment, with a huge hill behind it"
I tried to peep and once in a while, I see the golden mane appearing here and there
Then I took a bold move, after goodness knows how long I was hiding behind those walls and I opened the main door, with shivering hands.
I walked and found that the whole area near my condo seems like a living jungle.
There were flying birds and I even see monkeys!
I was so afraid and ran back to my house; and I was worrying over whether the lion is still after me....

And that was when I woke up
But seriously, the sight of the lion charging at me was such a vivid image that I could remember it so clearly even during my waking hours.

Interpretation
I am trying to interpret this dream and I am thinking that I may be worried about some change in my life and the threats that may come along with it
That is why I am seeing myself in my own home (within my own comfort) and at the same time, the lion probably symbolizes a big change or a threat which makes me worried or afraid.
I am afraid of the unseen challenges and things that MAY happen
The bold move was that I will still put on my front to be courageous but I may feel insecure with the change
The drastic and unexpected change in the environment around me (the appearance of a living jungle) will force to take up some challenges which came along with the change.
I may not be ready; as I am still afraid and insecure....

My dream car...(S)

I have my good ol' car right now..nothing to complain about, in fact I love the solid look and comfort of my car which I own for about 3 years now.

However,I have to say that there are a few cars that I have particular preference...

Toyota Vios


Funny why I am looking at the old model Vios rather than the latest release?

That's coz I find this older model nicer than the newer one although the latter still look charming:)


Another one....this was my dream car since when I was little kid...hehe

Striking red and stylish...:D


And this is another COOL car!:D

Really stylish...wow:)


Cool....and did I mention I was a Toyota fan?:D

Another dream...interpreted

I dreamt of yet another sad dream....I don't know why; is it true that dreams are actually a reverse or inverted reflection of reality?
I was not unhappy; in fact, far from that, I was pretty happy in the day but come night time and I get these dreams...and it's been for the past 2 nights:(
So sad....

Last night, I dreamt of myself crying and I was looking at my own family...Mummy was there...
But then the weird part was, this time the dream was reversed from the dream the day before.
In this dream, the first phase was actually pretty sad....and as I was saying, I was crying and telling my Mum and family about things....
Then in the 2nd part, things became normal and I see a normal family life...and my everyday life....

How do I interpret this?
I think (disclaimer: this is only my hypothesis, I am no guru in dreams interpretation)...in my opinion, my dreams reflect how I still have those inner fears but despite that, I do know that everything will be fine in the end...it's all a matter of time.
You see, the crying in the dream and the explaning of stuffs means that I am still worried and am unsure on whether I am doing the right thing but I just want to stand up and console myself on the decision I have made. At the same time, the family depicts I am also worried about the impression it may have created on others particularly those close to me and their reactions if they understand the reality of the situation.
As the crying subsides and moving on back to the norm of life in the 2nd phase, it is yet another inner thought that I do know that these things take time and that eventually, the storm will calm down and everything will still go on; life goes on....

Whatever it is, I do want these dreams to end...I want to sleep well:)

Fusion of a dream

I had a weird dream last night....I was pretty happy in the first phase of the dream...

I was dreaming that I am enjoying my blogs...writing and also making lots of friends and widening my circle....I was really very very very happy...elated in fact!
Then onto the 2nd phase of my dream, I dreamt that I was talking to an aunt and cousin whom I used to be kinda close to and all of a sudden, we came to a point of the conversation when we revealed our inner feelings and how we felt towards each other...and that was when I broke down crying and defended myself and telling them this is not true, they have been swerved in their thoughts and etc etc.
It was an emotional exchange in the conversation as we were in a way letting ourselves out and also argument pursues.
I only remembered the SAD feeling...such a major contrast from the hype and excitement from the first dream!

I was thinking about it and trying to interpret my own dream (I do know something about dream interpretation you know!:)
Anyway, what I can imagine is this....I've recently let out a secret and sort of open up myself (confiding in someone and also sharing out my blogs)..both at about the same time which really stirred up a hidden emotion and at the same time, it was a relief for myself.
The blogging part shows my inner self revealed and the laughter and friends show the happiness and return I gained from the revelation.
However, when it comes to the 2nd part, I guess I was still confused and unsure...being the worry wart, I was afraid of the consequences of telling someone about myself and also the people around me.
Perhaps I have been hurt before by this lady in the office whom I keep a distance from until today and I am worried on how she will try to harm me again despite my nonchalant response to her.
I am worried to the core.....

Sighs.....interpreting my own dreams...and it turned out to be a sad one:(